By Hannah Reid

During the early days of COVID-19, I worked inside family homes as a behavioral aide for neurodivergent children, primarily on the autism spectrum. I witnessed—the juggling of remote meetings, therapy sessions, household demands, and full-time childcare—all within the same square footage.

I vividly remember one moment: a mother mid-consultation with her manager while her son, wearing a Batman cape and rubber boots, proudly hosted a “talent show” involving a kazoo, three LEGO towers, and an overturned laundry basket. The manager was gracious. The mom mouthed, “I’m so sorry.” And I thought: There has to be a better way.

While the pandemic may feel like another lifetime, hybrid work and remote flexibility remain. And for parents, summer break—with its lack of school structure—can reignite the same chaos. Fortunately, psychological science offers more than empathy. It provides structure, strategies, and relief.

Below are six research-backed, realistic tips for parents to parent effectively, work productively, and protect your sanity.

1. Lower the Bar: Good-Enough Parenting + Self-Compassion

British pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott coined the term “good enough mother” to challenge the myth of perfect parenting. Children don’t need flawless caregivers—they need consistent, responsive ones. In fact, chasing perfection can hinder frustration tolerance and emotional growth (Tronick’s Still Face experiments illustrate this clearly).

Self-compassion, conceptualized by Dr. Kristin Neff, is associated with lower parental stress, increased patience, and healthier emotional modeling. It includes self-kindness, recognizing common humanity, and mindfulness.

If you’re parenting full-time while working full-time from home, you’re doing something remarkable.

Repeat after me: You are doing a good job—even when you forget the sunscreen.

2. Use Routines to Support Emotional Regulation

The developing prefrontal cortex craves predictability. Structure supports regulation—and regulation supports everyone’s mood.

Without routine, days can dissolve into endless snacks, screen-time battles, and spontaneous gymnastics routines.

Behavioral neuroscience shows that predictable routines:

Anchor circadian rhythms
Reduce cognitive load
Improve mood stability (McClung, 2007)

Try building a flexible framework:

Morning “brain time”
Midday movement
Post-lunch quiet time

Visual schedules and timers reduce the need for constant verbal prompting.

Predictability helps your child feel safe—and that’s half the battle.

3. Try the Premack Principle: Science’s Answer to Negotiation

David Premack’s behavioral theory states that preferred activities reinforce less preferred ones.

“First homework, then Minecraft” isn’t bribery—it’s a validated behavioral strategy.

Examples:

“First help clean up, then water balloons.”
“First reading, then tablet time.”

It works especially well when rewards are immediate and clear, particularly for younger children or those with ADHD.

It’s not bribery.
It’s neuroscience.
And it works.

4. Parallel Play Isn’t Just for Toddlers—It’s a Work-From-Home Hack

Inspired by Mildred Parten’s stages of play, parallel play involves side-by-side independent activity.

Set up a co-working space with:

Puzzles
Audiobooks
Coloring
Quiet crafts

Research shows that proximity boosts regulation and attention (Ainsworth et al., 1978; Posner & Rothbart, 2007).

Better yet, you can “earn” breaks together—reinforcing rhythm and connection.

5. Model Real-Time Emotional Regulation

Children learn emotional regulation by watching caregivers—this is co-regulation. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory suggests that your voice tone, eye contact, and presence can shift your child from fight-or-flight into safety.

When you’re about to snap, try:

“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take three deep breaths.”

You reset your nervous system—and teach emotional intelligence at the same time (Goleman, 1995).

Your regulation becomes their instruction manual.

6. Boundaries Are Not Mean—They’re Mentally Healthy

One of the most underrated tools during summer is clear boundaries. According to Bowen’s Family Systems Theory (1978), consistent boundaries prevent burnout and role confusion.

Try defining:

Work zones (“When the door is closed, I’m in a meeting.”)
Emergency criteria (Spoiler: the cat wearing doll clothes is probably not an emergency.)
Quiet times

Boundaries also include emotional bandwidth:

It’s okay to skip a playdate.
It’s okay to ask for space.
It’s okay to say “not today.”

Healthy boundaries teach respect, patience, and independence.

And don’t forget internal boundaries:
Know when to shut the laptop.

Final Thoughts

Summer isn’t just sticky popsicles and family bike rides—it’s also missed meetings, messy kitchens, and meltdowns at 2:37 p.m. These months are a blend of joy and chaos. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, psychological science reminds us of this truth: structure, self-compassion, boundaries, and connection matter more than perfection.

Give yourself permission to be a “good enough” parent. Build in rest. Model grace. And when in doubt, let the fashion show happen after the Zoom call.

You’ve got this.

Hannah Reid is a Counsellor at Innerlogue Therapy & Psychology. She provides counselling intervention for neurodiverse children, adults and families. Hannah offers counselling sessions at Innerlogue’s Kensington location.